Wednesday, December 8, 2010

My Mood Swings

I don’t want to blame the diagnosis of my illness of having hypothyroidism but I did. I used to blame this as I am suffering its symptoms. Last night my neck is aching and I kept on crying because it hurts. While I am crying I can’t stop the tears flowing in my chicks and I texted my boy friend to tell him that I need cool off. He replied that “ if that’s your decision and if you think that’s the best thing to do, then I’ll respect it. ” I can’t believe that he agree on me. I am expecting that he disagree on it. But early in the morning he replied to me that, “if you would give me the chance to decide I don’t want a cool off. We can fix the problem and talk it over in your house after my duty”. I replied, “I expect that reply of yours last night but, I think this is what I need. I am in crisis of all my aspect right now and I need space. Wag ka munang pumanta sa bahay”. I explained to him that my temper is so low and I can easily get irritable and you are the one will be hurt by me. There are hurtful words that I’ve said to him that I cannot get back. And I felt guilty about it. Then he called he asked me if that cool off don’t have text?, call ? And visits? I just answered yes!. He said okay…. My relationship with my boyfriend is at stake.

I went to my doctor for a follow up - check up and complain this illness. I still can’t get rid the crying and tears keep on flowing. The doctor said that I have thyroiditis. The inflammation of my goiter and then he added the dosage and prescribed me new tablets. I told the doctor that I used to wake up in the middle of the morning just to cry and he told me that’s one of the symptoms – depression. I read some articles in the web about my case and yes, it includes irritability and mood swings. And now I can so really understand my condition but the problem is that the people around me. I cannot just invite them one by one and explain my part.

In the afternoon I received texts messages from my boy friend and he told me that he wants to be updated about, will I just allow him to call and text me every now and then. I don’t want to reply to him anything which means that let’s see ~ therefore the cool off wasn’t realized. He visited me again and he said that he already recognized my mood swings and he added that “I must strengthen my patience for you, I’m always here to understand and love you no matter what, ”. I am so much thankful to God to have him. If it’s other person one would just leave me the way I behaved when I became impatient and irritable due to hormonal imbalance.

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